My name is So-Young. I'm American.
#AsiansAreVisible #StandWithAsians #StopAsianHate
Yes, my real name is So-Young. I was born in Washington, DC, raised in Brooklyn and was educated in the US. My name? Yes, I’m of Korean descent. And I’m an American. I have never been any other nationality.
As an Asian-American with a Korean name, I list ‘US Citizen’ on my resume as most Asian-Americans use a more ‘Western’ name to fit in. Why do I have to do this? Because in the US, Asians have been expected to fit in and not stand out — with our names, our opinions and our voices. We are often pushed aside for promotions because we don’t speak up for ourselves and self-advocate. When I was at McKinsey, I did some research on the percentage of East Asians who started as Associates and ended up as Directors and the fallout rate was staggering and statistically significant. There are many reasons for this from systemic issues to cultural norms to unconscious bias (even among Asians) so it’s not an easy challenge to solve.
I grew up in Brooklyn where my closest friends were Lisala, Tanisha, Anita, Peter, Vincent, Wayne — Black, Hungarian, Jewish, Hispanic, Gay, Straight and some Asians too. We were the mini-UN and we had no idea and didn’t care. We were friends. We went to each others’ homes, ate each others’ food and met each others’ families. We laughed together and cried together. This was critical to shaping my view of people who are different. We saw each other as humans.
Growing up, I got my fair share of ‘ching chong’ and people slanting their eyes at you. You would either ignore them or fight back and risk getting hurt or killed if they had a gun. So most of the time, I would ignore them. I don’t really recall the specific incidents because it was a part of life so I disregarded them. That’s sad. It was just normal to be taunted for my race. That was then.
Now it’s 2021. 6 Asian women were brutally murdered and there have been 3,800 reported crimes against Asian-Americans mostly aimed at women. Anti-asian hate crimes have increased by 1900%. My guess is that it’s 10x higher as many Asians don’t report. Think about these stats especially during Covid when many are not even going out. They are staggering.
Have we had enough yet?
For those of Asian descent who grew up in the US, you belong. You are accepted. You are enough. Don’t be confused by your identity. Are you holding a US passport? Are you a US citizen? Then you are an American. Period. You belong. You’re blessed with Asian ethnicity which adds texture to who you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
For those who want to be an ally and help, some thoughts to share..
Assume we belong unless told otherwise. When you meet us on the streets, in the boardrooms, in meetings, on dates and over a meal, assume we belong just like you do. It’s ok to ask us where we are from. If I say NY, then accept that I’m telling you that I belong just like you do. If you are curious about my ethnicity, feel free to ask. I’m a proud American of Korean descent. [Friendly tip: It helps when you make an effort to pronounce our names correctly. Don’t worry, we will understand if you can’t pronounce it perfectly. I can’t pronounce Csikszentmihalyi, the Author of Flow, either but I try. :)] Oh yes, and don’t assume that if we have an Asian name, we are not American. It’s possible to BOTH have an Asian name AND be American.
Befriend someone from a different background. Make an effort to build a real relationship with someone who is different from you. This could be a different ethnicity, religious background, sexual orientation or socio-economic status. Building real relationships with real people makes it very difficult to dehumanize their entire ethnicity. It may be a bit uncomfortable at first. Check out ‘Japan town’, ‘Thai town,’ ‘Korea town’ and don’t go just to eat (although the food is amazing), observe the people, make a friend. Start with a curious mind.
Educate yourself. Growing up, I watched ‘Different Strokes,’ Eddie Murphy and ‘Fresh Prince of Belair.’ Now there are some (need more but glad we started) Asian shows like ‘Fresh Off The Boat’ sitcom which ran for 6 seasons and movies like Minari which recently scored 6 Oscar nominations. If you are not into TV or movies, read books by amazing Asian authors like Amy Tan, Murakami and Thi Bui.
Will this stop the violence? I don’t think it will stop the violence today. But I do hope it slows down the violence of tomorrow.
For today, let’s leverage the tools and resources we all have. We all have different strengths. Some are influencers. Some have capital. Some have networks. Some have power. Some have friends in high places. Some have amazing stories to share. Take a moment to think about how you can help. Huge thanks to venture capitalists like
and others for matching up to $1M in donations towards #AAPI movements. Send receipts to eric@goodwatercap.com to get it matched.
Change starts with one — 1 person, 1 decision, and 1 action.
During #BLM, #MeToo and the anti-Muslim attacks, many spoke up and against what was happening. The war has not ended on racism and bigotry. Now the Asian community needs help. It’s time to come together as one race — the human race. Let’s #StandForAsians and speak up for each other.
First they came…
First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist
Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist
Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew
Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for meBy Pastor Martin Niemoller
So-Young Kang is the Founder & CEO of Gnowbe, a microlearning authoring app where anyone can bring their digital content to life in interactive ways. Gnowbe is inviting anyone who wants to share their Asian stories as part of #StopAsianHate to communicate with impact and share with hello@gnowbe.com to be featured and amplified. Human stories move hearts.